Top 5 Life/Leadership Lessons In May 2019!
Hey friends. I have learned and grown so much in May- it's been an incredible month! I wanted to preserve/capture these lessons, and I thought what a better way then here on my blog so that others may learn from it too? I would not have had the incredible month I've had without my personal life coaches and the bazillion podcasts I've listened to. And when I say incredible- let me tell you that I'm choosing to see it that way now. It has been FULL of reframing, growing, and stretching myself, which takes courage to do.
Sabotage is real, and you can work through it! Listen up my business mommas- up leveling is incredible and takes work. This month was the first time I filled up the number of 1:1 clients I can fit into my schedule, and my brain decided to go AWOL and freak out on me. There was a moment of joy and then an inflood of thoughts that did NOT serve me!
Thoughts such as," How will you manage all of this? You need to get a group program put together yesterday. This isn't going to work over the summer with the boys home. What about your vacation in June?" On and on my brain went off my friends. It was 2 days of totally wasted mind energy.
And then I had the best breakthrough with my coach. She said that in breaking through to new levels in life or business, it requires a tremendous amount of courage. And exuding the amount of courage needed to do these things takes work and is HARD. And our brains want to stop the need for courage because it's new and uncomfortable so it will often look for a way out. The way out is usually sabotage of some form.
So we often find another reason than the real reason at hand to sabotage. So for example, in this situation, I was about to dump all my time into creating a group coaching program, using my kids and summer as an excuse, and stressing over the energy to pull it all off. When the real issue at hand was my brain had never been at this capacity before, and just needed to push through, show up and serve my clients, and know we are going to make it work.
Also, having my coach say I was totally normal in what I was feeling was a huge gift! It's like 'oh- I'm not crazy I'm just hitting a new level of growth in my business, and eventually this will be the new normal, and my brain will chill out.' I'm so thankful for coaching!! Surround yourself with people who can pull you through whatever area of life self-sabotage is showing up for you.
Unconditional love is always a choice. This month in Self-Coaching Scholars, the topic was relationships. And I think the biggest take away for me was that I always have the choice to love unconditionally.
Brooke talks about our lovability being 100%. She talks about relationships being the thoughts we have about other people. So if my relationship with you is about the thoughts I have about you- then it’s on me what kind of relationship we have. Often we have expectations and a secret rule book that we think others should follow, and it only ends up hurting OUR ability to love them unconditionally. She calls these secret books ‘manuals’. Through looking at the manuals I had for several people in my own life, I was also able to see the one I had for myself as well. And it was pretty crazy to see that most of the things I judged in other people are the very things I struggle with in my own life. (Takes one to know one right?). Through this work, I am finding more love in my own life for others and for myself.
I get to choose how I spend my time (and it’s okay to say no to church). Okay- duh Sarah. But listen up, ladies. I know I am not the only one that is still doing things because I think I ‘should.’ Since January I have stopped doing so many things. I stepped off the board at church and have focused most my energy on the boys and my business. I’ve had to work through so many stories in my head about what it means for me to pull back. (Stuff like- you’re throwing away the best gift you could have. You’re bailing on your man. You have things to give, and they need your skills. Etc…) It’s crazy in my head at times, my friends. But the conclusion I have come up with is that I am better when I am putting my time and energy into the areas that give me life. And I don’t have to explain that to anyone, myself included.
I think another thing that became clear in processing is knowing that my youngest is starting Kindergarten in the fall and that changes a LOT in my life. I see this as the slow transition into my career unfolding and no longer have the time to volunteer at church the way I was in the past.
You have something you aren't offering the world. My husband and I were talking, and he read a coaching question from a book called "Community: The Structure of Belonging" that he was using to help shape an upcoming church meeting. The question was something to the effect of- What is a gift you bring that you don't allow or realize you bring? (I can't remember exactly how the question was worded). And without hesitation, the word "Influence" flew across my mind. It was not something I would've guessed.
If you talk Strengths Finder language I actually (in a team) don't have any top 10 themes in the Influencing domain. And I've often found that I don't like being the cheerleader, but rather if you are ready to do the work I'm here with you kind of person. So I think by definition of 'influencing' being to influence others I've for some reason counted myself out. Not out of insecurity, but more out of you do what you want and not seeing myself as an influencer. Remember, this is part of my inner growth journey.
So that is something I'm still processing. What does it mean for me to have influence? It's probably in part linked to my next point.
Being 40 is THE BEST! I don’t know what I switched on, but there is something so empowering about feeling and being 40. It’s this new sense of ‘let’s do this life.’ It’s this reality that I’m entering the second half of life, and I want to evaluate everything I’m doing. I’m asking Chris questions about our future and where we want to see ourselves business-wise, family wise, financially, and more.
There you have it my friends. A small peak into a huge growing month for me. This is why I love the power of coaching. There are a few other things that came from a coaching session that I believe will radically change my life/thinking over the next few years as I walk this journey of needing a kidney transplant. It’s one question from a coach to illuminate the truth in your heart that you didn’t even know needed to come out. It’s incredible.
If you are ready to add coaching to your life and begin to accelerate your growth in all areas of your life click here and tell me about yourself.